aiiihhh....apa yang sebenarnya membuatmu begitu kokoh di dalam hati ini...
sampai-sampai badai yang merundung hatiku pun tak mampu menggesermu...
ataukah kamu memang sudah berkarat dihatiku...
terpatri...seperti prasasti yang namanya terukir tak pernah hilang di telan waktu...
Ahhh...aku nggak mengerti semua ini...
sampai saat malam inipun aku tiba-tiba menangis...itu cuma karena kamu...lagi-lagi
KAMU...
Firasat ini mencekamku...
gelora membuancah...
gelisah meradang...
satu hal yang aku tahu...
Aku ingin menemuimu...sangat ingin...
rasanya memang jujur adalah jalan satu-satunya...tapi bagaimana cara jujur dengan tetap mengedepankan harga diri ini...
Akkh...lagi-lagi ego menghalangi langkahku ini...
tapi aku gak akan kalah sama egoku...aku percaya hatiku selalu jujur...
aku hanya mau mengikuti apa yang diucapkan hati ini...
tapi kamu dimana?? hanya untuk mengetik sebait katapun aku tak mampu...
aku luluh lantak tiap kali mengingat namamu...tapi itu pula yang membuatku ingin menemuimu...
akh...betapa rasa ini terlalu dalam untuk diungkapkan...
aku harus apa? harus bicara pada hujan? meminta pada Dewa langit? berbisik pada angin??...aku rasa mereka hanya menertawakanku...menertawakan keboodohanku...
tapi aku lebih memilih menjadi bodoh, karena kebodohan setidaknya membuatku tidak menjadi pecundang yang membohongi hatinya sendiri, kan...
aku memang masih menyayangimu...dan kalaupun itu hal terbodoh yang pernah aku lakukan...aku bersyukur pernah melakukannya...
June 18, 2010
11:50 pm
SKRIP (is not) SHIT
Selasa, 15 Juni 2010
Oke that's the title that is given by my friend, Neno...but then I realized something beyond those words SKRIPSI and SHIT...or you can call it skripsi is shit...hahaha funny..hmmm not really I think...okay I'm tired of being such a students who doing the thesis a.k.a skripsi in the whole time...It's been three months since I decided to start to write this skripsi...and till this date I've been just finishing my Chapter IV and it's all unchecked yet by my adviser...whereas the due date of submitting the thesis is about three weeks more...Whuaaaaaaaaatttt!?????
I'm shocked....absolutely...certainly......
but then what can I do anymore besides do my best, finishing all the 'printilan' while waiting the chap IV is being checked...
I'm tired for sure...I spend everyday in front of the computer...read the super duper thick books that I don't know for sure...what the helll the book is! I feel I've being forced to do something I didn't like...I think my adviser urges me to do what she want...not to do what I want in my thesis...there are many theory I should put in my chap II...and you know there are many theories that I don't want to put it..but my adviser said 'you better put this'...my heart said "WHY?"
Because it isn't my focus...it isn't what I wan to analyze...really I feel "KEBEBASAN SAYA MENGUTARAKAN PENDAPAT DALAM SKRIPSI SAYA DIBUNGKAM!!" All the things I've planned before were crunched in a second...I've to compile all the things for first step again! CRAZY! GILA! SINTING! Sorry to say but this is the voice of my heart now!...
However, it's ready...nasi udah jadi bubur...udah kepalang kecebur juga saya...and I don't know what to do except believe with what I do and believe with my adviser...For the sake of finishing my thesis..saya membuang semua ego saya...saya membuang semua ketakutan saya...membuang semua keraguan pada teori2 sialan yang saya gak ngerti itu...buat apa? buat membuktikan kalau dalam keadaan apapun saya MAMPU...I CAN DO IT...ONCE AGAIN I CAN DO IT AND I WILL DO IT...
Yah, in the end...I try to realize that maybe my adviser want my to do something different from the previous study...I think she's right...because of the quality of our education is getting worst, maybe we as the future leader should do something new, something unexpected, something beyond imagination, something that people maybe sai "GILA, LO NGERJAIN SKRIPSI IKAYAK GINI" but your adviser said "INI BAGUS BUAT PERKEMBANGAN RANAH LINGUISTIK", something that you can't imagine before....because with do something extraordinary, YOU HAVE CHALLENGE YOURSELF!
Yup, with all my braveness, I try to challenge my self to do all this things...and you know what in the middle of doing this, I found many precious meanings....
MEANING HOW TO BE PATIENT...
MEANING HOW TO APPRECIATE YOUR TIME...
MEANING HOW TO SHARE YOUR HECTIC DAY WITH YOUR DAILY ROUTINE...
MEANING HOW TO TOLERATE PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO YOU THINK DISTURB YOUR TIME WHEN YOU ARE TYPING YOUR THESIS...)
MEANING HOW TO KEEP PRAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE YOU'RE STILL TYPING...
MEANING HOW TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF..(BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT...YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOUR BODY A REST EVEN IT IS ONLY 30 MINUTES TO EAT AND DO EXERCISES...)
MEANING HOW TO STANCE YOURSELF TO LEARN MANY NEW THINGS, THEORIES, BOOKS (BECAUSE IN THE END IT WORKS FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE ACTUALLY...)
AND THE END...MEANING HOW TO PROUD of YOUR LIFE...BECAUSE ONLY IN YOUR LIFE YOU ARE GIVEN THIS CHANCE BY GOD TO DO ALL THIS THINGS EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS SUCKS!...
Phiuh...lega abis nulis ini..yg pasti saya mau tetep semangat, tetep keep my spirit, karena banyak bgt ilmu yg saya dapat selama masa "pingitan" ini hehehe...saya yakin dengan segala keyakinan akan kemampuan kita apapun bisa kita capai...yang penting kuncinya SABAR, IKHLAS, TEKUN n SEMANGAT...
So, buat semua temen2 yang lagi bikin skripsi mari kita tetap semangat, tetep yakin n percaya aja sama pembimbing, tetep inget solat lima waktu n solat malem sesibuk apapun qta ngetikin skripsi, tetep inget temen2, keluarga, hangout walopun skripsi kadang menyita waktu kita (sbenernya sih ga, cuma gue aja yg lebay hahaha)....tetep inget tujuan buat jadi sarjana (kalo saya sih emang pengen banget wujudin cita2 ini, seacra ini buah dari kerja keras sayas elama empat tahun, saya juga mau bikin bangga orang tua saya pastinya yang udah banting tulang nguliahin saya)...Ya pokoknya apapun tujuan kamu menulis skripsi ini...let's do it!
and hopefully, someday we don't have to say SKRIPSHIT AGAIN hahahaha...amin...
love, Icha
June 16 2010 7:10pm
I'm shocked....absolutely...certainly......
but then what can I do anymore besides do my best, finishing all the 'printilan' while waiting the chap IV is being checked...
I'm tired for sure...I spend everyday in front of the computer...read the super duper thick books that I don't know for sure...what the helll the book is! I feel I've being forced to do something I didn't like...I think my adviser urges me to do what she want...not to do what I want in my thesis...there are many theory I should put in my chap II...and you know there are many theories that I don't want to put it..but my adviser said 'you better put this'...my heart said "WHY?"
Because it isn't my focus...it isn't what I wan to analyze...really I feel "KEBEBASAN SAYA MENGUTARAKAN PENDAPAT DALAM SKRIPSI SAYA DIBUNGKAM!!" All the things I've planned before were crunched in a second...I've to compile all the things for first step again! CRAZY! GILA! SINTING! Sorry to say but this is the voice of my heart now!...
However, it's ready...nasi udah jadi bubur...udah kepalang kecebur juga saya...and I don't know what to do except believe with what I do and believe with my adviser...For the sake of finishing my thesis..saya membuang semua ego saya...saya membuang semua ketakutan saya...membuang semua keraguan pada teori2 sialan yang saya gak ngerti itu...buat apa? buat membuktikan kalau dalam keadaan apapun saya MAMPU...I CAN DO IT...ONCE AGAIN I CAN DO IT AND I WILL DO IT...
Yah, in the end...I try to realize that maybe my adviser want my to do something different from the previous study...I think she's right...because of the quality of our education is getting worst, maybe we as the future leader should do something new, something unexpected, something beyond imagination, something that people maybe sai "GILA, LO NGERJAIN SKRIPSI IKAYAK GINI" but your adviser said "INI BAGUS BUAT PERKEMBANGAN RANAH LINGUISTIK", something that you can't imagine before....because with do something extraordinary, YOU HAVE CHALLENGE YOURSELF!
Yup, with all my braveness, I try to challenge my self to do all this things...and you know what in the middle of doing this, I found many precious meanings....
MEANING HOW TO BE PATIENT...
MEANING HOW TO APPRECIATE YOUR TIME...
MEANING HOW TO SHARE YOUR HECTIC DAY WITH YOUR DAILY ROUTINE...
MEANING HOW TO TOLERATE PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO YOU THINK DISTURB YOUR TIME WHEN YOU ARE TYPING YOUR THESIS...)
MEANING HOW TO KEEP PRAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE YOU'RE STILL TYPING...
MEANING HOW TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF..(BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT...YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOUR BODY A REST EVEN IT IS ONLY 30 MINUTES TO EAT AND DO EXERCISES...)
MEANING HOW TO STANCE YOURSELF TO LEARN MANY NEW THINGS, THEORIES, BOOKS (BECAUSE IN THE END IT WORKS FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE ACTUALLY...)
AND THE END...MEANING HOW TO PROUD of YOUR LIFE...BECAUSE ONLY IN YOUR LIFE YOU ARE GIVEN THIS CHANCE BY GOD TO DO ALL THIS THINGS EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS SUCKS!...
Phiuh...lega abis nulis ini..yg pasti saya mau tetep semangat, tetep keep my spirit, karena banyak bgt ilmu yg saya dapat selama masa "pingitan" ini hehehe...saya yakin dengan segala keyakinan akan kemampuan kita apapun bisa kita capai...yang penting kuncinya SABAR, IKHLAS, TEKUN n SEMANGAT...
So, buat semua temen2 yang lagi bikin skripsi mari kita tetap semangat, tetep yakin n percaya aja sama pembimbing, tetep inget solat lima waktu n solat malem sesibuk apapun qta ngetikin skripsi, tetep inget temen2, keluarga, hangout walopun skripsi kadang menyita waktu kita (sbenernya sih ga, cuma gue aja yg lebay hahaha)....tetep inget tujuan buat jadi sarjana (kalo saya sih emang pengen banget wujudin cita2 ini, seacra ini buah dari kerja keras sayas elama empat tahun, saya juga mau bikin bangga orang tua saya pastinya yang udah banting tulang nguliahin saya)...Ya pokoknya apapun tujuan kamu menulis skripsi ini...let's do it!
and hopefully, someday we don't have to say SKRIPSHIT AGAIN hahahaha...amin...
love, Icha
June 16 2010 7:10pm
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